LETTER TO MY MOTHER
What were you like as a kid? Angelic? A Nightmare? A goody twoshoes? Teenager from hell? Loveable? Sulky?
I think I was a mix of all of the above. Maybe to some degree or another we all are.
It wasn’t until I became a mum, or more to the point, until my first born was old enough to argue with me and fight her corner, that I realised how much I must have hurt my mother in our moments of disagreement.
When you’re the child, it’s hard to understand just how much love your parents have for you. How much they would do anything for you or sacrifice anything for your well-being, safety and happiness. You don’t realise as a child just how much you strike at the heart of your parent every time you say “you don’t understand me” or “I hate you” or just “leave me alone”.
But know I now.
And now I’m sorry!
I’m a bit useless at verbalising my feelings, but I’m ok at writing it down. So I wrote my Mother a poem…
Today I have something important to do to make my Mum feel better. Dear Mumsiewoo, I start to write, and so begins my letter…I don’t always know the right way to say exactly how I feel. But you always know just what to say to love and mend and heal. I know I act like I don’t care and often push you away. But deep down inside I’m battling my pride. I really want you to stay. I act all tough and know-it-all, but all I want to do, is cuddle up safe in those arms of yours. Don’t you want that too? I always forget you’ve been where I am, that you were once my age. Sometimes there’s so much going on, it just feels like a daze! I always hoped I’d be given the chance to be a mummy too. Now that I am, I can only dream of being half as good as you! Although we’re separated by many miles, you are always in my heart. I love you so much it really hurts to be so far apart. I couldn’t have wished for a better Mum…a friend to confide in too. I love you Mum, forever and ever. I love you Mumsiewoo.Ellie Zwanepoel
Being a mother is one of the hardest things I have ever done, but it’s also the most magical and rewarding. I know we all have our ups and downs and I know I have a lot more angst to deal with from my two pickles as they grow. But I will never let a day go by without hugging them, telling them I love them or letting them know that I will always be their number one fan!
Yours in motherhood,